I'd better shut up

I'd lie to you a thousand times,
I'd say to you that it doesn't feel the same
and I'd let my heart being oppressed
just to talk to you once again
as the way as we used to.

I'd lie myself saying I don't care
but here I am, writing to you these lines
I know you think I'm too obsessed
I think you're right but I don't want to
I just need to runaway from this dispair.

But I can't, and I think I'm going crazy.
How easy would be just closing
the door and slipping away!

It was easy for you, one morning,
you just stepped away
from me, from all we had.

You think I was lazy,
because I didn't run behind you,
I just was broken
and I felt die without you.

I know you won't read this,
I know you don't want it
but I need to say this
to you again:
my feelings for you are still alive,
but I don't want to bother you anymore,
so I will just die in silence.

— Alexia Donaire (1.5.2017)